It is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

21 May 2026.

Some people were raised to ask for permission. They are raised to place other people’s desires above their own. There are legitimate reasons, maybe you rely on those people for an income, maybe the people you grew up with will honour-kill you, but in most instances, the actual control is psychologically based, not financial or life-threatening.

When you ask for permission, you are giving the other person the opportunity to say no. If you truly believe in what you want to do, you’ll do it. Why ask for permission? If they say yes, great, but if they say no, then you’ll look even worse if you go against them. If you don’t ask for permission, if they forgive you, great. If not, at least you did what you wanted anyway.

People who like you will continue to do so, it's the ones who see you as a pushover that’ll walk away. Good. The more disappointed people are in you, the more liberating, they don’t pay your bills, nor were they there during your darkest moments, so what right do they have to lecture you now? When you’re young, you think there’s a contract you have to fulfil, there’s no contract, everyone is out for themselves.

People are more likely to reject your requests, what benefit do they have for you to live the life you want? People will make all sorts of excuses to stop you “What will other people think?” “This isn’t allowed in our religion” This flies out the window when they want to do something. One day, they’ll say you’re too young to do that, then one day, they’ll say you’re too old to be doing that.

Power isn’t given, it’s taken. Compromises don’t work, people will say, “don’t do that!”, or “maybe later”. It’ll always be like that, it’ll always be “maybe later”, and then one day it’ll be “you went this entire time without having done it, why do it now?” You’re operating on good faith, they’re not.

Discussion. Negotiation. They don’t work if you don’t demonstrate your own power. Kids in strict households try to appease their parents, appeal to them, but until they demonstrate they’re willing to break the rules, their parents have no incentive in loosening the terms.

When you’re young, you’re at the mercy of your parents. As an adult, you have the financial and social power to stand up to people. If you don’t have that, work on that, that’s why you’re oppressing yourself. When aspects of your life improves, you will naturally stand up for yourself and do what you want, you don’t need to read a dozen self-help books or watch alpha male videos to know what to do.